I no longer trust my wife.
Actually, I haven’t trusted my wife for a long time. I’ve long known she’s wanted me gone. After the first week of marriage, I knew.
We were married July 22, 1972. Today is December 9, 2014. Forty-two years. All but a few weeks of it hell. If I die by mysterious circumstance, look at her first.
She has long physically and verbally abused. Fought. Struck. Attempted to strangle. And always, always plays the victim.
Once during a doctors visit I semi-jokingly told my doctor I thought my wife was trying to poison me. His reaction shocked me.
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” He said, refusing to make eye contact. “I’ll run some blood test…”
And still today it continues.
“You make me MISERABLE! I HATE YOU! I HATE MY LIFE! I want to go. I’m ready. Why does God always take the bad people and leave me?? I would commit suicide - if I wasn’t so afraid of failing and I could get the right stuff, I’d do it. I hate you. I hate our son. I hate… hate… hate.” She says every time she gets me as a captive audience.
For more than 40 of the 42 years I have heard the same refrain from my wife. I’ve often though if she was smart enough to figure out how to do it and somehow claim me responsible, she’d do it.
After all this time I know the rhetoric and its all bullshit. But last week was different. Last week she starts out with the “I want to Kill myself...” crap, but, realizing it doesn’t phase me anymore, she changed tactics.
“You’re a miserable person.” She says. “A horrible person. A horrible husband. A horrible father.”
“Why don’t you just go ahead and kill yourself and get it over with…?”
And at that moment I realized…
In July of 2014 we contracted to build a new house in Florida…a retirement home. Its in a nice, gated community, we have our own pool, and we don’t have snow.
For the past couple of months, she has taken to referring to the new house as “my house” and making comments such as “my pool. You can’t use it.” and “I’m only taking my stuff…”
I had wondered...
Now I realize what she wants. Only everything - the Florida house, the Maryland property, the 401K, the stock. All of it. None of me.
We close on the Florida property in few weeks.
So...
If something happens to me after the New Year … look at my wife first.
